Pooped Out Rambling

12:52 AM

For the lack of better word that best describes the lethargic state I am in right now.

In exactly 2 weeks, I will be reaching the second half of my life. Dramatic as it may sound, reaching the age of 26 with nothing to show of accomplishments (or savings) from the past nor have a concrete plan for the future isn't boding well with me.

Granted I'm getting out here in more or less than a year to pursue my impending education, the nagging "now what" question always lingers.

I swear thinking is more tiring than a physical activity. Not that I do much of the latter anyways. Although I really need to start. Tomorrow. I swear. Promise I'll start mounting the treadmill. Like I promised yesterday that I'll start today. It will happen, it has to happen one way or another.

I'm officially the most lethargic person I know either that or I'm just being to hard on myself. After all, I do work 9 hours a day sitting in a cubicle dealing with drivers of all stink and nationalities not to mention ignoring stupid, ignorant and politically incorrect paper pushers isn't a walk in the cloud. Everyday I wake up at 5.30 a.m. wishing it's already 5.30 p.m. and I'm back where I currently am, in the cocoon of our spanking new house surrounded by dysfunctional but good people.

Lately I've been hooked on Tweetdeck. Not that it's advisable and a replacement for real people and real conversation but this time and right here, reading other people's inane thoughts suits me fine. I am not required to be nice, reply or even participate. All I have to do is sit here, read and occasionally retweet. Life is a lot more serene that way.

My room doesn't look like a mess anymore. Granted there are still clothes on the bed that I sleep with and laundry's beckoning me to take them up but other than that I am loving my new space. I bought a new chest draw last weekend and mom pitched in with my dresser both complimenting my hand me down bed so now the room resembles a uhm well a room. For the first time since I came back from Dubai which was last weekend of February, I am now sleeping on the bed.

Speaking of bed, whoever introduced the medical bed has a serious problem with the word soft. My bed is freaking hard! Everytime I lay on it, I feel like laying on a hard wood floor. Medical bed was introduced to me by my mom 5 years ago when I first got here. Since then I've been sleeping on hard wood floor one so I kind of got used to it. She said that it corrects the posture and actually helps with the back pains. I don't see how but mother knows best so yea, medical bed it is.

Five (?) balikbayan boxes was packed and ready to be shipped off containing my accumulated trash over the 5 years that I'm here. It was mostly books, bags, shoes, clothes and books, bags, shoes and clothes. See the pattern there? Yea. I know.

Despite all those packed up boxes, I still need more drawers in my room for the stuffs on my bed and the clothes that are pending on the laundry. Ang laki ng problema ko. Grabe.

First week of the month and I'm already broke. But then again, who isn't. On the bright side, the days are passing by so fast that I can hardly catch up so before I'll notice, it's the next payday again so yey! By the end of this month, I swear I'm kicking off all temptations and I'll save. save. save!

This blog is reviving again. I have to start writing again. I'll never be a great writer but at least, I'll be good enough to be understood. I'll be coherent enough that I'd get my message across the world wide web where it will be lost in the blogosphere.

Sometimes I'd wish I'm back in the Philippines where good times with great friends are aplenty. Then the reality would hit me hard. We're not young and carefree anymore. Some of them got children and family to take care of. Most of them left back home got unflexible work time that it's so hard to drag any of them out of their houses for a ladies night out.

Now the pull of home isn't about good times or free flowing booze. The pull of home for me is higher education. I am a learner. I love learning new things, discovering ideas may it be old and new. I strive on education. Learning is a constant for me. It's a wonder and a tragedy when I stopped the way that I did.

For someone who had a very long day, I sure do type and spent hours blogging about it. Thank goodness to the love life that keeps me grounded and made me feel loved enough to deserve being taken cared of.

I love my life. I will never regret living here in Kuwait. Despite the lack of hedge funds in my portfolio, I am happy as I was given a change to experience being a daughter of my mom. Being a big sister who can occasionally provide to my siblings. It isn't easy. Being a OFW kid and living alone independently as I grow up, I got used to my own ways on my own terms. Being a 20 years old and suddenly finding yourself being treated like a child again is a mixture of heaven and hate. Nevertheless, I'm not complaining. It was and still is a good run here in Kuwait. I have never lived and had a comfortable life until I got here. Kuwait for me is another learning ground that I have to graduate soon. I'm starting to come to terms with it.

Sometimes you just know when it's time to stop and start again. Like now.

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