0 Degrees Celsius, Negative 3 Chill Wind

3:28 PM

I am so numb and cold it got nothing to do with the weather temperature outside. Even when they said on the radio that this got to be the lowest since 1993.

This got to be the coldest day of my life. In more ways than one.

I implore the Gods to make me feel something. Anything.

I lost a lot of people during my vacation.

A sibling that I'll never know was taken away to heaven on Christmas eve.
A friend for 10 years who's been with me in all my drunken tryst is now gone charged to human emotion called jealousy.
A friend in college who I adore for being able to express her feelings whenever and wherever is now gone and will be with God forever.
A side of the family in which have done us wrong since I remember is now officially out of my gift list.
Someone whom I gave more than 2 years of my life has broken my heart into tiny million pieces.

I lost a lot of myself for only wanting to be happy.

I paid dearly and too much in pursue of that bliss.

After all that, I still can't feel anything. Good God.

And I thought losing my job, on my first working day after vacation would finally do me in.

Nothing. Nada. None.

So help me God.

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