These Lines Are My Blog Absent Excuse.

5:18 PM

More than a week of wallowing in despair and self - pity gradually ate every iota of determination and strength in my already confused miniature internal organs.

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I'd be the last to help you understand
Nothing's true and nothing's right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can't change the way I am
Lie to meI promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
Just try and love me if you can
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Lie to meI promise I'll believe
Lie to me
But please don't leave
~ Sheryl Crow - Are You Strong Enough?

The one thing I like about me though is that I bounce back.

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity, Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walkingI must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity, Peace, Serenity
~ Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry

I may be a sad and miserable excuse for a human being but I am still in a wishful thinking mode, I am still in denial, I am still hopeful and I am still very much optimistic.

Everyday I live to attest these words:

“That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying” -Benjamin Franklin

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